As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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