I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
