Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize