There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
