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Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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