Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
