The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
