I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Two words: blizzard sex
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
