Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
