i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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