I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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