Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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