Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Acid is not a monday night drug
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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