did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
