The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
