1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
