You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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