I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
