i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
