they need to just BURY HIM!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
