5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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