i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize