Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
