return my video game
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this boner is exhausting
I just gift wrapped bread.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize