It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
