Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
