Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
