went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize