why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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