I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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