The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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