i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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