Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
