Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
