im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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