I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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