Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
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when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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