u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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