Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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