So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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