I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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