How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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