worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
