I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
