The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
