All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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