Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
