are you so shy because you have an std?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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