none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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