I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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