She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize