During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize