Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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