bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize