Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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