I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
