wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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