Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
