She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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