Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize