so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
