Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
