all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
