Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
