I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
