5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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