He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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